I always think of events as the one place that I shouldn’t have a trigger for my grief. I’m busy focusing on event details and working that I think I forget triggers can come at any point and from anywhere. However, in the last few months, my theory of my grief not hitting hard at events has been proven wrong multiple times. Some examples are when an artist plays a song that reminds me of Heather, when a father comes up to me during intermission at the auction table and starts having a conversation with me that leads into telling me his son lost his friend that day in a car accident, or yesterday when the photographer looked a lot like Heather.
Grief can show up at any point and anywhere and most the time I just push through and try to ignore it because I’m working and quite honestly don’t want to deal with it at the time. However, there are other times, like after the conversation with that dad or like yesterday when I just need a hug from someone.
Last night Mia happened to be in the lobby and when I told her the photographer looked a lot like Heather she reminded me of this truth that she always says from stage, we’re comforted in our afflictions so we are able to comfort others in theirs. This goes along with another truth I was reminded of tonight as she sang a song I’ve heard her sing many times, and yet God used it tonight to speak to me in a way it hasn’t before.
“You are not alone, I’ll be there when you fall. You are not alone, I’ll be there through it all. And I will reach out my hand to let you know that for this battle, you are worth it all, for this battle you are worth it all. The tears we share they are my prayer for you…” ~ Mia Koehne
When I found out about Heather, I was across the country in a hotel room by myself and yet I wasn’t really alone because I had the Aspire team I was with surround me that night and the following day to help me get through one step at a time. After having the conversation with the father at the auction table, I got through intermission and then I went inside and broke down for a couple minutes with some close friends. Last night, Mia hugged me and reminded me of this beautiful truth. My life, my parents have supported and comforted me when I need it most.
My family, my EFP family, and my church family are the community that have surrounded me in this hard time. I want you to know that I’m here for you – you can’t do it on your own and you are not alone. Let others comfort you so that in time, you can comfort others.